“God is my strong fortress”- God kept me safe for years even tho my faith in God was nearly absent. I am so blessed today. I walked thru life angry, disgruntled, and feeling confused. Kind of like roaming the desert for 31 years in a constant state of confusion. I always asked why me? Why did God give me such a self-destructive disease? I was asking the wrong why or looking at it from the wrong perspective. God gave me this disease because God knew I could handle it. We all have the inner strength to pursue greatness, I had to find God and put The Lord first in all my affairs.
Fear was my driving force to not do something. I had fear of rejection, failure, scrutiny. I had so much fear because I didn’t have faith in myself. God gave me the faith I needed until I could love myself using radical acceptance, prayer, and meditation.
“The trouble with us alcoholics was this: We demanded that the world give us happiness and peace of mind in just the particular order we wanted to get it-by the alcohol route. And we weren’t successful. But when we take time to find out some of the spiritual laws, and familiarize ourselves with them, and put them into practice, then we do get happiness and peace of mind. . . . There seem to be some rules that we have to follow, but happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone.”
— DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, p. 308
The simplicity of the A.A. program teaches me that happiness isn’t something I can “demand.” It comes upon me quietly, while I serve others. In offering my hand to the newcomer or to someone who has relapsed, I find that my own sobriety has been recharged with indescribable gratitude and happiness.
Happiness comes from within you. Treat others with respect and work on your defects for happiness and wholeness.
As I sat down and opened up my folder of homework, it was a bit overwhelming. It felt like the first day of school again. I hated doing assignments in school, it gave me anxiety, and I would rush through projects to stamp them complete, and move onto the next. I was told in recovery it’s a marathon, not a sprint, but I love sprinting! So, before I started answering any questions on step one I told myself I have all the time in the world. No phone, no work, and limited TV. There was no excuse why I couldn’t take my time and do it thoroughly. The step one questions were primarily about my relationship with alcohol and how it affected my life. After doing the step one packet and rereading it I came to the conclusion that I was living to drink and drinking to die…….. There has to be a better way! Stay tuned for more.
The Lord loved me when I didn’t love myself. Everyday I learn to love myself a little more with the help of my Higher Power, prayer and meditation. Prayer is extremely powerful and beneficial when done unselfishly. If you are a person of faith thoughts and prayers DO help, but you need love in your heart to spread the powerful message of faith. In my opinion, those who says “thoughts and prayers” don’t work are typically people who have never experienced the power of prayer. I am living proof that prayer is helpful.
The reason evil exists is so good people can rise above it. Without evil we have no good. We need more love for one another to let the light shine and the darkness fall.
My anxiety, like for many, stems from fear. Fear drove me to not accomplish a plethora of things in life. Now I replace fear with faith. When I’m anxious, depressed, sad, joyful, or content I pray. I pray for more faith and less fear to continue on this journey. May we all have a great week with more faith and less fear!
Being tested by God helped me build mental strength, courage, wisdom, and an abundance of faith. In the past I would ask why me? Why am I being tested? Can’t I just be left alone? God tests us because it aides in building stronger values and morals. And if you don’t succeed fail forward, any failure can be turned into a success!
Every time God tested me I ran and hid. I didn’t realize that God was testing me to build a stronger version of myself! Now when I am tested self-pity and self-sabotage are a thing of the past. I may not pass every test that is put in front of me, but I try to learn from each experience. Testing me has strengthened my character and faith in my Higher Power. Ultimately when tested if you “fail” fail forward and have faith that God is with you!
Since my divine intervention, which was 738 days ago, I pray read the Bible and meditated on the scriptures almost daily. It has helped me strengthen my morals and values. Without a strong foundation of self-reflection and God I would not be here today and for that I am forever blessed.