“I am your disease” is a poem I was given my first day in rehabilitation. The poem helped me understand how sick this disease is,”cunning, baffling, powerful!” I underestimated my disease for many years. The poem helped me realize that I needed to be proactive to keep my disease at bay. It taught me I had to work hard everyday to suppress the disgusting disease I let take control of my life. We can take control over this sick disease, we just have to be proactive, productive, and positive. I hung this poem up on my wall to remind me the work I need to do everyday to keep my sanity. Below is a copy of the poem. I hope this can help someone understand the severity of their addiction and take control!
I am your disease
I HATE meetings! I HATE Higher Power! I HATE anyone who has a program!
To all who come in contact with me, I wish you Death and I wish you Suffering.
Allow me to introduce myself I am the disease of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction.
Cunning, baffling, and powerful.
That’s me, I have killed Millions and I’m pleased.
I love to Catch you with the element of surprise
I love pretending I am your fiend and lover.
I have given you comfort, have I not?
Wasn’t I there when you where lonely?
When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me?
I was there
I love to make you cry.
Better yet, I love to make you so numb you can either hurt or cry
You can’t feel anything at all.
This is true glory. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I have been there for you always.
When things were going wrong in your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the only one who could agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life.
People don’t take us seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don’t know that without my help these things would not be possible.
I am such a hated disease. Yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.
More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12-step program. Your program, your meetings, your Higher Power, all weaken me, I can’t function in a manner in which I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me, but I’m growing.
Bigger than ever, when you only exist, I may live. When you live I only exist. But I am here and until we meet again, if we meet again, I wish you death and suffering!
This disease wants us to fail and it wants us dead! We can gain control over our addictions. The big question is how bad do you want to change your life?
-Strive to become the best version of yourself!