The Lord loved me when I didn’t love myself. Everyday I learn to love myself a little more with the help of my Higher Power, prayer and meditation. Prayer is extremely powerful and beneficial when done unselfishly. If you are a person of faith thoughts and prayers DO help, but you need love in your heart to spread the powerful message of faith. In my opinion, those who says “thoughts and prayers” don’t work are typically people who have never experienced the power of prayer. I am living proof that prayer is helpful.
The reason evil exists is so good people can rise above it. Without evil we have no good. We need more love for one another to let the light shine and the darkness fall.
“God is my strong fortress”- God kept me safe for years even tho my faith in God was nearly absent. I am so blessed today. I walked thru life angry, disgruntled, and feeling confused. Kind of like roaming the desert for 31 years in a constant state of confusion. I always asked why me? Why did God give me such a self-destructive disease? I was asking the wrong why or looking at it from the wrong perspective. God gave me this disease because God knew I could handle it. We all have the inner strength to pursue greatness, I had to find God and put The Lord first in all my affairs.
I’ve always believed in treating others the way I’d like to be treated and helping others when I can. The only problem was when I was in active addiction I didn’t treat myself well at all and I was taking care of myself. Self-pity and self-sabotage engulfed me daily. I had to find faith in God until I could find the faith within me to overcome my short comings.
He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being.— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 107
Many of us in A.A. puzzle over what is a spiritual awakening. I tended to look for a miracle, something dramatic and earth-shattering. But what usually happens is that a sense of well-being, a feeling of peace, transforms us into a new level of awareness. That’s what happened to me. My insanity and inner turmoil disappeared and I entered into a new dimension of hope, love and peace. I think the degree to which I continue to experience this new dimension is in direct proportion to the sincerity, depth and devotion with which I practice the Twelve Steps of A.A.
If you stay sober long enough and work the 12-steps you will stop looking at the world through a myopic lens and you will start looking in the mirror, at least I started too. Some may think I’m still in active addiction beause I have changed, thats erroneous. I just keep my head down and do the work every single day. Now I am reaping the ultimate benefits of my labor.