My Divine Intervention

I never really knew what a divine intervention was until February 28th 2017, more like I was to focused on my drinking to even care. That night I made the worst decision of my life, which now is the best thing that could have happened to me.

 


That night I chose to drive under the influence of alcohol. I was driving and hit a curb and then I hit a pole. No one was injured, thankfully. That next day I checked myself into rehab. After a decade of drinking this was my first attempt at going to an inpatient program. I had done outpatient and Detox programs with no success of my own doing.

Going to rehab changed my thinking. The 12 steps help me understand my character deficits and that it is up to me to make an effort to change my life. For so many years I’d place the blame on others, and never accepted ownership of my actions.

It was time for me to put down the magnifying glass and take out the mirror. To this day I still follow the 12-step principles. It made me realize I needed that divine intervention to get sober. It was my wake up call. I’m always trying to get a little better each day. If a hopeless drunk like me can get sober, so can you. We can recover! There is strength in numbers!

Strive to become the best version of yourself!

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Never Give Up!

Focus

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows!” Even after being sober for over a year I have days where my motivation/drive is sub par. One of things I do when I feel down or unmotivated is watch motivational vidoes on YouTube. It gives me inspiration, and helps me get into a positive head space.

This is what works for me, but it may not work for you. Find your niche and find the new and improved you! There is strength in numbers, we can recover! Below is my goto motivational video. Check it out and start your day off with some positivity and inspiration!

What tips do you have to stay motivated?- Comment below

-Strive to become the best version of yourself!

Aprill 11 Daily Reflection

Daily Reflections

via Daily Reflections

Todays Daily Reflection hit home for me. It talks about blame. When I was in active addiction I would blame everyone and anyone, but never myself. I wasn’t the problem. Everyone else was the problem!

Recovery has taught me that I am the sole person to blame. Everything I do or say ends with me, no-one else. It took me along time to realize that I had to take ownership of my life. I know nothing changes overnight, but if you can string a few nights in a row change is possible and rewarding!

 

-Strive to become the best version of yourself!

Successful 90 Days

90 meetings in 90 days.jpg

 

If you are new to recovery you will probably hear a term called “90 and 90.” Which means you go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Some people ask why is this so important? I’ll explain why.

  1. It helps you get into a daily routine.
  2. You can try different meetings in different areas to find the right meeting for you.
  3. Networking- Going to meetings will help you meet new people in recovery.
  4. It increases your chances of finding a sponsor.
  5. You can get a commitment, which holds you accountable to make the meeting.
  6. Celebrate your milestones 30,60,90 days are big accomplishments, celebrate the wins.
  7. Going to meetings helps you understand your not alone, find people at meetings you can relate to.
  8. Time- You need to give your mind, body, and spirit time to readjust to your new life.
  9. It helped me deal with my social anxiety and other character defects.
  10. Talk to newcomers. Even if you’ve only been sober for 1 week you can help inspire the person with 1 day or less, pay it forward.

 

Some meetings are better then others. The 90 and 90 helps you find what is going to work for you. Keep an openmind, listen, and also share. Old timers will say “take the cotton ball out of your ears, and put it in your mouth.” I disagree a newcomber should listen, but also share there experience, strength, and hope.

Daily Reflections: April 9

Daily Reflections

Freedom from “King Alcohol”

…let us not suppose even for an instant that we are not under constraint… Our former tyrant, King Alcohol, always stands ready again to clutch us to him. Therefore, freedom from alcohol is the great “must” that has to be achieved, else we go mad or die.

As Bill Sees It, p. 134

 

When drinking, I lived in spiritual, emotional, and sometimes, physical confinement. I had constructed my prison with bars of self-will and self-indulgence, from which I could not escape. Occasionally dry spells that seemed to promise freedom would turn out to be little more than hopes of a reprieve. True escape required willingness to follow whatever right actions were needed to turn the lock. With that willingness and action, both the lock and the bars themselves opened for me. Continued willingness and action keep me free– in a kind of extended daily probation-that need never end.

 

I confined myself physically and mentally when I would drink. I’d isolate and drink alone in the dark. Every waking hour my mind would think of alcohol.  Everything in my life revolved around drinking. I was delusional about my disease. Thankfully, I had a divine intervention that pushed started my recovery. Ultimately, before my intervention I wasn’t willing to face the facts, denial was my friend. Now I know my denial and unwillingness was part of the problem that kept sucking me back into alcoholism.

I use the WHO acronym as foundation for my recovery. I have to be Willing to make positive changes in my life. I have to be willing to accept reality.  I also must be honest with myself and others. One lie can snowball into a mountain! I find being brutally honest in all my fairs to be a stress reliever. I must also be Open-minded. Everybody’s road to recovery is different. What works for me may not work for you. Keeping an open mind helped me take in other people’s honest advice and opinions. I then would do research and through trial and error I was able to find my recovery sweet spot.

If you are struggling and do not know where to start, start with WHO. Everyday make it a point to become more Willing, Honest, and Open-minded. There are a plethora of roads to the top start carving your journey today!

 

– Strive to become the best version of yourself!

 

Gratitude

Gratitude- is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

When my journey to recovery began I was told to get into a routine. Every morning I would wake up make my bed, pray, and then write out a gratitude list. Everyday I write down 5 things I am grateful for. The next day I will write down five new things I am grateful for, trying not to repeat from the day before. This helped me realize and appreciate the little things in life. Such as having a place to rest my head at night or being able to eat everyday. These are things I took for granted even as an adult. After living with alcoholism I now know nothing should be taken for granted. Being grateful for the little things is what helped me build my recovery foundation.

They have apps you can use to type and save your gratitude list, or you can just go old school with pen and paper. I like being able to go back and reread my gratitude lists. This helps me recognize patterns, good or bad that I might need to address.

As I sit on an airplane headed to Vegas, for work, I have so much to be grateful for. I am grateful for my health, my loving family, having food to eat, a place to stay, and a job. I am also grateful for being an addict. The disease has torn me down, but I have been able to slowly rebuild my life. That is something I never thought I’d end up saying over a year later.

If you feel like giving up, do it tomorrow, because today we can do great things, if we put our minds to it!

Notice how the last part of the definition for gratitude talks about kindness? I will speak on that in my next post.

-Strive to become the best version of yourself!

I am your disease

“I am your disease” is a poem I was given my first day in rehabilitation. The poem helped me understand how sick this disease is,”cunning, baffling, powerful!” I underestimated my disease for many years. The poem helped me realize that I needed to be proactive to keep my disease at bay. It taught me I had to work hard everyday to suppress the disgusting disease I let take control of my life. We can take control over this sick disease, we just have to be proactive, productive, and positive. I hung this poem up on my wall to remind me the work I need to do everyday to keep my sanity. Below is a copy of the poem. I hope this can help someone understand the severity of their addiction and take control!

I am your disease

 

I HATE meetings! I HATE Higher Power! I HATE anyone who has a program!

To all who come in contact with me, I wish you Death and I wish you Suffering.

Allow me to introduce myself I am the disease of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction.

Cunning, baffling, and powerful.

That’s me, I have killed Millions and I’m pleased.

I love to Catch you with the element of surprise

I love pretending I am your fiend and lover.

I have given you comfort, have I not?

Wasn’t I there when you where lonely?

When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me?

I was there

I love to make you cry.

Better yet, I love to make you so numb you can either hurt or cry

You can’t feel anything at all.

This is true glory. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I have been there for you always.

When things were going wrong in your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the only one who could agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life.

People don’t take us seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don’t know that without my help these things would not be possible.

I am such a hated disease. Yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12-step program. Your program, your meetings, your Higher Power, all weaken me, I can’t function in a manner in which I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me, but I’m growing.

Bigger than ever, when you only exist, I may live. When you live I only exist. But I am here and until we meet again, if we meet again, I wish you death and suffering!

 

– Anonymous

 

This disease wants us to fail and it wants us dead! We can gain control over our addictions. The big question is how bad do you want to change your life?

 

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-Strive to become the best version of yourself!