Fear fueled my addiction for over a decade. I feared everything and I didn’t have a healthy relationship with God. Now that I have God in my life it gives me the fortitude to keep moving forward despite any challenges put in front of me.
I am blessed and grateful to have God in my life. He had faith in me when I had zero faith in myself.
Why all this insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.’s remaining eleven Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p, 24
Hitting bottom opened my mind and I became willing to try something different. What I tried was A.A. My new life in the Fellowship was a little like learning how to ride a bike for the first time: A.A. became my training wheelsandmy supporting hand. It’s not that I wanted the help so much at the time; I simply did not want to hurt like that again. My desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful than my desire to drink. In the beginning that was what kept me sober. But after a while I found myself working the Steps to the best of my ability. I soon realized that my attitudes and actions were changing—if ever so slightly. One Day at a Time, I became comfortable with myself, and others, and my hurting started to heal. Thank God for the training wheels and supporting hand that I choose to call Alcoholics Anonymous.
It’s in all of the us. We have the capability to do anything we put our minds too. It all depends on how bad do you want it? I had to adopt this mindset during my recovery. In the beginning of recovery the shame, guilt, resentments all flooded in. I used those emotions to fuel the fire to push through the pain, and because of that I haven’t had a drink in 425 days. For a hopeless drunk like me, thats profound. If i can do it, you can do it! We can do it! Be humble, be honest, and be the hardest working person in the room! Have a great week!