12-Steps Simplified

12-steps stairs

These are the simplified 12-steps for those who struggle with a higher power.

  1. I admit that I have no control over my drug/alcohol use. It has caused me unacceptable consequences. I will not live like this anymore!
  2. There is help for me to recover, it is my responsibility to find it.
  3. I will accept help and advice from people who have had similar experiences.
  4. I will take inventory of myself. Looking for any behavior and personality that caused problems to others and I.
  5. I will tell someone my inventory to help the self-evaluation process.
  6. I will make positive changes in my life.
  7. Work daily to remove your shortcomings.
  8. Make a list of  people who I negatively affected from my substance use.
  9. Exercise good judgement, and make amends to those people you have adversely affected.
  10. I will continue to work on my problems and admit mistakes when they arise.
  11. I will reflect on my personal growth and development.
  12. I will pay it forward and help others.
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Gratitude

Gratitude- is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

When my journey to recovery began I was told to get into a routine. Every morning I would wake up make my bed, pray, and then write out a gratitude list. Everyday I write down 5 things I am grateful for. The next day I will write down five new things I am grateful for, trying not to repeat from the day before. This helped me realize and appreciate the little things in life. Such as having a place to rest my head at night or being able to eat everyday. These are things I took for granted even as an adult. After living with alcoholism I now know nothing should be taken for granted. Being grateful for the little things is what helped me build my recovery foundation.

They have apps you can use to type and save your gratitude list, or you can just go old school with pen and paper. I like being able to go back and reread my gratitude lists. This helps me recognize patterns, good or bad that I might need to address.

As I sit on an airplane headed to Vegas, for work, I have so much to be grateful for. I am grateful for my health, my loving family, having food to eat, a place to stay, and a job. I am also grateful for being an addict. The disease has torn me down, but I have been able to slowly rebuild my life. That is something I never thought I’d end up saying over a year later.

If you feel like giving up, do it tomorrow, because today we can do great things, if we put our minds to it!

Notice how the last part of the definition for gratitude talks about kindness? I will speak on that in my next post.

-Strive to become the best version of yourself!

I am your disease

“I am your disease” is a poem I was given my first day in rehabilitation. The poem helped me understand how sick this disease is,”cunning, baffling, powerful!” I underestimated my disease for many years. The poem helped me realize that I needed to be proactive to keep my disease at bay. It taught me I had to work hard everyday to suppress the disgusting disease I let take control of my life. We can take control over this sick disease, we just have to be proactive, productive, and positive. I hung this poem up on my wall to remind me the work I need to do everyday to keep my sanity. Below is a copy of the poem. I hope this can help someone understand the severity of their addiction and take control!

I am your disease

 

I HATE meetings! I HATE Higher Power! I HATE anyone who has a program!

To all who come in contact with me, I wish you Death and I wish you Suffering.

Allow me to introduce myself I am the disease of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction.

Cunning, baffling, and powerful.

That’s me, I have killed Millions and I’m pleased.

I love to Catch you with the element of surprise

I love pretending I am your fiend and lover.

I have given you comfort, have I not?

Wasn’t I there when you where lonely?

When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me?

I was there

I love to make you cry.

Better yet, I love to make you so numb you can either hurt or cry

You can’t feel anything at all.

This is true glory. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I have been there for you always.

When things were going wrong in your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the only one who could agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life.

People don’t take us seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don’t know that without my help these things would not be possible.

I am such a hated disease. Yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12-step program. Your program, your meetings, your Higher Power, all weaken me, I can’t function in a manner in which I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me, but I’m growing.

Bigger than ever, when you only exist, I may live. When you live I only exist. But I am here and until we meet again, if we meet again, I wish you death and suffering!

 

– Anonymous

 

This disease wants us to fail and it wants us dead! We can gain control over our addictions. The big question is how bad do you want to change your life?

 

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-Strive to become the best version of yourself!